This Post is So Gross!

EmbarassedI promised in my profile that I am an average girl that will talk about all the things I experience.  I promised.  I seriously wish I hadn’t made that promise because I don’t want to talk about this one, but I feel like it would be hypocritical of me not to.  We all want to be perfect in our online persona’s, but I made a pledge to be real.  So here I go…

A vaginal pimple…

Anyone who doesn’t want to read more, I totally understand.  Trust me when I say I wish I wasn’t writing about this.

About a week ago, I had a full on panic moment.  A red, sort of angry looking lump appeared within the folds of my lady-parts.  And yes, I feel squeamish just talking about it.  I mean holy-%$#*.  I was so panicked at the idea that I might have somehow contracted an STD that I had to sit down while a full on panic-attack hit me like a full-steam ahead train.  I cried on my bathroom floor for twenty minutes, and then made an emergency appointment with my doctor.

She was really nice.  Had I had sex without a condom?  Yes, I had.  But not with just any stranger!  A guy I’d been seeing.  She talked quietly about the different things it could be, trying to assure me it may be nothing.  I listened to her thinking ‘I’m never going to have sex again’ and I felt like my heart had fully lodged itself in my stomach.  Finally, she took a look.

A pimple.

Excuse me?  Relief washed instantly over me.  I didn’t realize you could get pimples down there!!  Well apparently you can, and an extensive Google search later told me that it’s actually very common.  You can get pimples anywhere!!  And with all the shaving, waxing and plucking down there, you’re bound to get an ingrown hair at some point, even really deep in there.

My next question was ‘how did I make it this long without experiencing this before?’.  Well thank goodness I haven’t, although it would have stopped the full on panic now.  Still, I had a pimple down there, and it was really big.  My doctor said not to pop it or do anything.  We have to watch it to make sure it doesn’t get infected, but letting it heal instead of trying to do anything to it is better at this point.

Well fine; only pimples fucking hurt, and when they’re down in those sensitive areas, it hurts like all hell.  I mean holy crap, throbbing stinging pain.  Every time I moved, walked, sat, stood, shifted… it was just torture.  Let’s talk about sexy.  I lay on my bed spread eagle with the fan pointed at me to help keep it dry (moisture breeds bacteria).  I thought I would die of mortification.

Sometime during the night, it popped on it’s own.  After a shower I felt ten times better just because the pressure was relieved.  With the pain gone and the bump fading, I’m no longer quite so down on myself about it.  Man, it’s really weird how something like that can just kick you in the teeth!  I didn’t want to go out.  I didn’t want to try on clothes, or shop for new bedding.  I didn’t even want to go get a coffee.  I just wanted to lay in bed and watch Netflix, and hope it disappeared.

Here are the things I learned from this gross experience…

1.) Ladies, we’re all going to have problems down there.  Hopefully they are short lived or treatable, but it’s going to happen.  Pimples, yeast infection, ingrown hairs, rash from gym sweat… it’s not always a happy place.  But it’s totally normal!!  Every single girl you look at on the street has gone through something like this and probably been embarrassed about it.  Just suck it up and go to your doctor.  What’s worse, your doctor giving that ‘you should protect yourself better’ speech, or your lady-parts falling off because you let it fester until it’s way too late!!!

2.) Just because it’s gross, doesn’t mean it’s the worst-case scenario.  I was certain I had herpes or some lifelong horrible affliction that would make finding the love of my life completely impossible.  Turns out that despite what the internet teaches us, it’s not always the worst thing you can think of.  Sometimes a bump is just a pimple.  Try not to panic unless your doctor gets that worried look on her/his face.

3.) No one wants to talk about what’s going on down there.  I mean come on, I’m pretty open about things and I worked my way up to writing this post.  I was even a little squeamish about telling my best friend, and that girl has heard my very worst and most embarrassing stories!  I’m talking about it now only because I think it’s important that people out there know that things like this are normal.

That’s it.  Hopefully this is the very last time I will ever post something like this, but hey, I suppose it happens to all of us.  Now that it’s over, I want to get back to life as usual.

Keep it clean, ladies!

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