I’m not going to hide it even though I sort of want to; every once in awhile I go back and look at my ex’s Facebook page. I think it’s one of those things that no matter how adjusted you are, you wonder what they’re dong. But it occurred to me that I never look at my page. If I’m looking at his, he’s probably looking at mine. I’m not a prolific personal Facebook poster, but I do get tagged and sometimes update when I’m really enjoying something. What do people see when they look at my page? I took a look at my page to see what kind of life my online person leads.
First thing; I have some seriously amazing friends! Within a few posts I was smiling at how much fun the people in my life are. Hikes, family trips, epically delicious new restaurants and a birthday all within the last two months. A video my brother took on our christmas ski trip posted recently to make everyone smile. An old colleague telling me she misses me, which turned into a humours joke about smacking another colleague around, who then noticed are conversation and said ‘hey!’ Pictures of the night I left my old job and the entire crew took me out for drinks and way too much fun. Stunning pics of our ski trip up at Sun Peaks.
To make it short, my Facebook page is of a person who has a lot of fun and has some of the best friends and family possible! It made me feel great to look over all the cool stuff I’ve done. It’s not that I’d forgotten about any of it, but seeing it all lined up painted a pretty great picture for me.
How strange is it for us to obsess about other peoples pages and not our own. I don’t post a ton on Facebook. Really it’s for the things that matter the most to me, events that I shared with the people I love or to update family when we’re away on vacation. I have one of those families that love to look at pictures, so Facebook is easier then visiting everyone and showing all the photo’s one by one. But I almost never post what I’m eating, if I’m sitting around watching TV, random thoughts I have or little rants. Not on my personal page. On my ‘What Happens to Jayne‘ page I post a lot of recipes and articles because that’s what my blog is about. But personally with my friends and family I keep it to really important/cool things. I will post more ‘thoughts’ on my twitter account because it’s pretty short. I only post once every couple of weeks and that hasn’t changed. But my friends are more engaged with me, liking and comment, which I thought was a little strange. It all goes back to my confidence and how I’m reaching out to them. My friends are more active in my life in every way now, and they’re noticing me on Facebook because of it.
In comparison, my ex posted a lot of things that are kind of sarcastic or complaining and no one really engages. It’s all negative and when I think about it, it’s so typical of him. I don’t miss the sarcastic negativity. Instead I’m going to look at my Facebook page and see all the fun I’ve had, and use it as a reminder that the break-up was the right choice because I’m a happier, healthier and more engaged person who’s not afraid to do things that wouldn’t have scared me before. Looking at my page is much healthier that looking at my ex’s.
Take a look at your page. If your account was the one an ex was stalking, what does it say? Does it say I’m insecure and negative? Does it say I drink too much? Or does it say ‘life is good’ and I’m happy to share it.