The last Grandparent

In the last two years, I’ve lost two out of my remaining three grandparents, and my lone surviving grandparent, my grandma, is nearing the end of her life.  There are a few things that need to be pointed out immediately with a beginning like that.  First, she’s in her 90’s.  Second, so were my other two grandparents who recently passed away.  Third, she keeps telling us she had a wonderful life and that everything is fine.  My Grandma is a loving person.  I really have nothing negative to say about her!  She’s caring and loving, and gracious and beautiful.  I haven’t spent as much time as I should have with her the last few years, but you’d never know it talking to her.  She’s always just so happy to see everyone that she never makes you feel like you’ve been away too long.  She loves to listen to your stories and tell you what she’s been up too.  I don’t think I’ve ever heard her say anything negative too me at all.

Here’s some really great lines from my grandma.  Remember that this woman loves you so much that she wants to give you a compliment.  She wants to be specific, because general compliments can be ’empty’ as she says.  She truly means what she says, and she means it with all the love in her heart.

– I have lovely ankles.  They’re not chubby like some ladies she’s seen 🙂

– My eyebrows are nicely arched.  They don’t make me look angry or upset.

– I wipe the counter uncommonly well when cleaning up.  My mom’s taught me well.

– My hairline is very straight.  I don’t have that winded thing like my mom.

– (This one was given to my sister) – she has no lines or wrinkles by her ears.  Just beautiful smooth skin.

She’s lovely.  Everyone who meets my grandma says she’s lovely.  Her social etiquette is a little off, but she does it in such an endearing way that no one cares.

If you read about my Nana (my dads mother) who passed away before Christmas you’ll know that she was miserable until the moment she passed, and she made everyone else miserable too.  She’d never been friendly when I was growing up.  She was a terse british woman who judged everyone and always made you feel bad about yourself.  I loved her, but I wasn’t fond of her.  When she got sick, it was a huge burden on her family.  Of course no one complained, but she made it so hard.  I don’t want to judge her because being sick is awful, but when she finally passed it was with a certain amount of relief.  It sounds terrible, but it’s true.

My Grandmother is a completely different story.  She looks at her life and sees a wonderful world, and she’s okay to pass.  She’s made sure that everything is taken care of and has enough financially to cover herself so she never becomes a burden on her family.  She never asks us to visit, but is always so pleased to see us.  She worries that we’re taking time off work or going out of our way saying ‘I’m just happy to hear that you’re doing well’.  It makes me want to go see her and make sure I’m part of her positive outlook on life.

I’m not saying  it should be easy on family when someone passes away.  It never is.  But there is a certain ‘aging with grace’ personality trait that my Grandma has while my Nana never did.  My grandma knew she was getting old and made sure she was taken care of.  My Nana refused to believe she was getting old and prepared nothing. One day, if I’m lucky enough to get old, I want to be like my Grandmother and ensure my family won’t be exhausted and relieved when I’m finally gone.  My grandmother even paid for her funeral plot and expenses years ago.  I used to think that was morbid, but now she’s happy to know that her family won’t have to put out any money for her funeral.  I see that it makes her happy that her family will receive whatever was hers and not be burdened.

I just want to say I love my grandmother, I’m sad she’s passing, but that is one wonderful and classy lady who couldn’t have lived a fuller more positive life!

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