May 1st will mark the one year anniversary of living in my new place. I guess after one year I can’t call it new anymore. But it’s causing all kinds of reflections. I spend a lot of time worried about my current self. I’m stressed at work (in a good ‘there’s lots of work and I love it’ way). My health seems to not always been my main focus. My weight is a little stubborn, mostly because I’ve failed to keep up any kind of regular exercise, especially with my long work hours. But in about 15 days, I will hit another landmark. Living fully on my own for one full year! Yay me! I was so excited about it when it first came about, and even more-so when it started to happen. I had all these plans and goals. Have I hit any of them?
I used to dream of having my own apartment. A tiny little bachelor suite I could be artistic with and make my own. I look around my cute little apartment today and realize I achieved that in a big way. I found an affordable place bigger than I expected, and I’ve decorated it to make it mine. I mean seriously I love every corner of it. I love the pink accents, the side tables I painted, the hutch my Nana left me that used to be ugly that I spent months sanding and re-finishing. My picture frames on the wall, my candelabra my mom bought for my birthday, the birdcage my best friend gave me. When I look around my apartment, I see myself everywhere and I love it.
My second goal was to live a certain lifestyle. I’ve both succeeded and failed. I have my routine that I love, but there are parts, like meeting my neighbours, that I never accomplished. I suppose I want a ‘Friends’ style existence where I have people I love close-by that come and hang out, or I go over to them. My friends are a little spread out, which is totally fine, but sometimes it’s easier to sit at home than go see them. But one thing I have done is learned and loved myneighbourhood. Spring has sprung, and with it comes the reminders of what made me so happy when I moved here. The flowers on every street corner, the community gardens, the children playing in the park, the other park that is always full of people playing frisbee, hanging out, having picnics and generally hanging out together. The cherry blossoms have blanketed entire streets and the air is fresh and clean. My neighbourhood feels like home. It’s not closed off or exclusive, it’s open, warm and friendly. It’s the kind of place I always wanted to live.
The other goal I had was to meet someone, are a couple of someones. I know now that it was a part of me that was still hurt from my breakup and wanted to feel validated. I had this idea that I would kind of slut around. I did a little, but thankfully not as much as I planned. I’m glad I got out there, but it was a lot of work to keep it up, and I was going in with a very negative ‘this will never become more’ approach which isn’t really like me. I’m glad I didn’t meet anyone in the last year that stuck because I wouldn’t have become the person I am today. I wouldn’t be able to sit here and feel good about myself just as I am.
Writing this blog and appreciating the last year of my life, I realize that I’ve been taking it for granted. Because I focus on the present all the time, I forget about the achievements, the success and the happiness I’ve experienced. I can’t tell you how light I feel just sitting here and remembering how far I’ve come; how one year has changed me for the better. Today I’m not going to take for granted. Today I’m just going to revel in the fact that when my one year anniversary comes up, I’m going to celebrate it like it’s the biggest accomplishment of my life, because in so many ways it is.