Holy hell. I’m never taking that long of a break again. After my day yesterday, waking up to run and a quick weight session at the gym after work, I woke up this morning to the kind of pain only experience when sedentary muscles are forced to work hard. Not wanting to stop my streak at one day, I got up and went for another run. Day two. Every step jarred something, some muscle, so that every step my brain said ‘go back, you’ve done enough’. I had to fight every step to get through it. It was definitely a day where any lack of motivation would have kept me in bed an extra hour.
But I put my running shoes on and went out into the cold. I pushed myself to do it. And you know what?
I feel awful.
Yesterday was all about the endorphin rush of getting back into it. Exercise boosted my mood, my energy and my determination. Today, totally the opposite. I got back from my run and felt tired and drained. Showering wasn’t relaxing. My head started to hurt half way through the morning, and I had to take breaks when blow-drying my hair. Why? What was the difference?
My diet was the difference. I started working out again, but I didn’t start eating for it. I managed to have a relatively healthy dinner, but overall I’m certain I burned more calories than I took in, and I wasn’t taking in anything good enough to fuel my muscles.
This is why diet is so important. Right now, I’m detoxing all those yucky chemicals out of my system that I’ve been stock piling, and it’s causing all kinds of havoc on my body. But I failed to replace that bad with enough good, and now I feel like crap.
That feeling I had yesterday, of being full of energy and in a good mood, it’s normal. But so is the mood I’m in today after doing the same thing. This feeling is why a lot of people think badly of exercise. They never get past the detox and into the real joy of it. You have a couple of bad days and think ‘this isn’t worth the struggle!’. It is worth the struggle. I hate that I’m back in it, but I’ve been past it and I know what’s on the other side. I remember what it’s like to go to the gym and have a crazy good workout, and feel powerful and in control of my life. I remember going for a run and pushing myself for a long time, and sweating and breathing hard, but feeling like I can go farther. I remember when my mind stopped shouting at me to stop. And I know, in order to get there, I have to get past this part first. This awful, defeating and frustrating part where my body gets rid of all the crap I’ve put in it the last little while. This is my fault, this feeling, and pushing through it is to make sure I fix the damage I’ve caused.