I think I may be too sensitive.
The last few days at work, I’ve working hard. I mean like go home and crawl into bed still wearing your shoes hard. It’s not stress, it’s just a lot of stuff to do. I had a little ‘well done’ pat from my boss, but mostly I was ignored, which was fine as I was getting things done. At the end of yesterday, I answered the phone. Normal, every day thing. I answered, they asked for a colleague, so I put it through without checking. Normally I see if my colleague is there, and if they’re busy, I ask the person if they’d like the voice mail, or if I can help them with something. I never just throw a client into a voice mail when they’ve managed to get a person on the phone. I know how frustrating that can be.
But this time, I threw it to my colleague, and immediately cursed because I heard her a second later already on the phone. I felt bad. I’m good with customer service, and I always try and make sure whoever calls is helped.
Of course, that’s the moment my boss decided to be part of my busy life. I was the one who immediately said ‘I shouldn’t have done that’ and I know it was wrong.
Luckily, it was my colleagues mom who had called, and not a client. When she didn’t get my colleague on the phone, she just texted her. Phew.
Not phew. After two days of hard work, that single moment is what all my time spent will be remembered as.
Here’s why I’m frustrated. Yes, I made a mistake. I take full responsibility for it. I pride myself in customer service. I always go above and beyond to help clients out. So why am I getting rained on for a single mistake? Everyone makes mistakes? I’m trying to keep my head done, agree with our customer service objective, and say over and over ‘I totally understand and agree, what I did wasn’t the correct thing to do’. But it just won’t end.
This seems like a minor thing, and as I said in the beginning, I think I’m too sensitive. But it’s not just this one thing that’s hit hard at my confidence lately.
A few posts ago, I stated a mistake I made at work. That was a mistake I learned from, and won’t ever repeat. Since that mistake, little things have been happening. I spent all of Friday testing a product. I mean ALL of Friday. It’s a major product, and it requires heavy testing. At the very end of the day, when I have about fifteen minutes left, I sat back down at my normal desk to make sure I didn’t have any emails or anything outstanding that required immediate attention.
My boss came by and asked if I was in a ‘hurry up and wait’ situation. When I looked at her confused, she said ‘well you’re not testing anymore, so I wondered if you were waiting for something.’ I said no, that I had only just sat down, and wanted to make sure I was caught up before I went home. She kind of walked away with a look and no other comment.
?????? I’m confused. Where did I go wrong there? I thought I was being responsible spending the last moments of my day making sure I wasn’t leaving anything outstanding.
Another situation. We had a meeting, a big meeting with a bunch of people, and I brought up a site we use often for our work. It’s an email collecting site to help with customer service. Recently that site updated their look, and it’s awful!! I mean seriously awful. It’s added minutes on to responding to each email. My boss was like ‘that’s great, thanks for bringing it up! Why don’t we all put together notes for them on the upgrade and send it to them?’ Okay, why not. It’s a product we use every day, so it makes sense that we would tell them that because of this upgrade, they might lose us as clients. I made a note of it. After the meeting, I emailed my colleages and said ‘hey, when you have a moment, please give them feedback.’ I copied my boss on it.
She ‘replied all’ to me and my colleagues and said basically said that we shouldn’t spend our time and money helping out another company.
??????? You told me to tell everyone to give feedback?????
Where did I go wrong there?
Am I being too sensitive? Am I reading into situations that don’t mean anything? I’m beginning to feel kind of attacked or… belittled. I know that I’m not a slacker. I work hard. I don’t spend my days on Facebook chatting with friends, although I do run the company social media pages, so maybe that’s a bad example. I have a colleague who sits at his desk and texts on his phone all day. I don’t. I get things done. I deal with clients. I test products and teach classes. I work. So why am I being made to feel suddenly inferior?
I was concerned about it. Having the boss suddenly go from loving you to treating you like this threw me totally for a loop. After one harrowing experience, I asked my colleague. He looked at me like I was crazy and said ‘what are you talking about? She loves you!’ And when I seemed dubious, he told me that they’d just had a conversation to make sure that I wasn’t feeling overwhelmed at work because of all the work they’d piled on me. Apparently she wants to make sure I’m good where I am so I don’t think of leaving.
??????? What the hell is going on? What am I supposed to think about any of this? Especially since it’s a new thing, within the last month.
When I first got to this company, I was shocked at how well employee’s were treated. I got a parking spot! There’s always coffee and pop in the fridge! I have benefits!!! My pay was a little low, but it felt like I was really being treated well, so that didn’t matter so much. But as time has gone on, and my vacation days are non existent, I have to deal with rampant micromanaging, I have colleagues who don’t pull their weight and I deal with this weird situations, I start to really feel like we’ve been blinded be a few cheap benefits to hide bigger issues.
I DO NOT want to open up a free for all complaining session about your jobs. Working is a way of life, and I don’t hate everything about my job. I just don’t like being made to feel this way. I think that if I work hard, I should get respect. If I don’t work hard, well… depending on how much time I waist maybe I should get fired. I’m not afraid to earn my way. But how do you prepare yourself for these tiny little things that get blown out of proportion?
Maybe I’ll sell all my belongings and live as a surf bum on a beach somewhere 🙂 Sounds like life!