I have a girly confession to make. I love being in love. That might sound kind of dorky, but it’s totally true. I love the whole thing. I love wanting to see someone the moment I do… anything. I love spending way to long texting or talking. I love having someone to that I go, and who comes see me, just whenever. I love making up reasons why I can stay even thought I know I can. I love putting up with tired days, because I stayed up to late.
I’m an independent person. I’m happy living my life just as me. I certainly don’t need someone in my life to feel validated. But I like having someone there.
Am I a romantic? If you read my blog, you know that I don’t like classifications. A person can be a great many different things. But generally, do I like romance?
Here’s the thing about romance. It’s gotten pretty out of control. I mean what’s considered romantic really gets out there. But my ex made me realize that even though I don’t expect or even want huge grand gestures, romance does have a place.
Here’s what I find romantic. We’ve made plans to get together, something casual, at my place. We’re going to watch a movie and do… nothing. No muss, no fuss, just chilling. You show up at my door, you kiss me like you’ve been thinking about me all day, and hand me a frilly pink carnation that cost you a dollar. Holy man would you get laid that night.
That’s it. To me, making me feel like you thought of me, is romantic. To me, a kind, simple gesture, knowing that I love pink flowers or…anything, means you know me.
Effort doesn’t always have to mean you go way out of your way to do something spectacular. I had a friend once who knew I was upset, so bought three bags of red skittles, opened them all, separated all the red ones, and gave me a little baggie of nothing but red skittles, which are my favorite. It cost my friend three dollars and about five minutes to do that. I had a girlfriend once who told me she wanted to decorate her room vintage. I went to the thrift store, bought a side table, painted it chalky, and went over.
I think it’s about listening more than anything. You can buy me a diamond necklace, and I’ll feel special, but I’m not a diamond person so in the end, it’s not emotionally worth a lot more than the bag of red skittles.
I think people also put together romance and apology. If you get me flowers every time we fight, that’s super nice, but it’s not romance. Romance is that moment when nothing special is happening, when you’re not expecting anything, and there’s this gesture that says ‘hey, I think about you and can’t wait to see you’. Romance is something that says ‘I noticed you always pick out the red skittles, so I got you only red skittles.’
I went to a colleagues wedding a few weeks ago, and it was beautiful. But the thing that sticks out the most to me, is what the bride did for her new husband. They had a beautiful wedding cake that was very traditional. But as a surprise, the bride had also ordered cake pops that were in the shape of the Cylon symbol from Battlestar Galactica because it was her husband favorite show. He was so excited. It made the day about both of them, and about being who they are.
I’m going to say that I’m definitely romantic. If I was in a relationship, and neither of us ever bought the other a diamond anything, I would still say that we were romantic if we knew what each other liked.