My sister is a bit of a world traveler. She lived in London for a couple of years, moved back to Vancouver, and then ended up in Australia. Now she’s back again.
I have to start by saying that I love my sister. Of course I do, she’s my sister. I’m going to continue by saying I hate my sister.
Here’s the thing. She ‘knows’ everything! You cannot say something without her telling you about when the same thing happened to her. ‘Once I went to the beach and this clown was giving CPR to a seal while lightning hit the roller coaster.’ Most people would be like ‘wait, what?’. Not my sister. She’ll say something like ‘That’s just it, when I was at the beach and the clown was trying to save a seal, the lightning actually missed the roller coaster and hit the Merry go Round.’
Seriously? Oh yes.
I don’t want to call my sister a liar. But I have a really hard time believing her stories because they’re always in response to something someone else has said. It’s simply not possible for one person to have experience everything that everyone else has. It drives me crazy.
She needs to learn how to say ‘I don’t know’. Being part of a conversation doesn’t mean that you have to know something about it. It’s okay to say, ‘I haven’t seen it, is it good?’ or ‘I’ve never heard of it’ or ‘was the seal okay?’.
When she came home I was happy to see her. For a full ten minutes I felt glad that she was back. Then she started talking.
I’m horrible with her. When she says something like ‘that’s the best movie ever!’ I follow it up with ‘have you seen it?’. I can’t even count how many times the answer was ‘well no, but my friend saw it and…’. If it’s not your opinion, why use it? Why is it so important in society to have an opinion no matter what? What’s created this? What made my sister, who has a ton of her own experience, feel like she can’t just say ‘I don’t know?’.
I shouldn’t prove her wrong as often as I do. But sometimes I feel like she brings it on herself. Last time she was home, we had this giant fight about hockey. Here’s the thing. I don’t argue about hockey. I hate people who argue just for the sake of arguing. But sometimes, when someone blindly makes a comment, it irks me. I’ve been watching hockey for years. I’ve been through trades and drafts, and harrowing playoff runs. I know the players, I know the stats, I know the change in rules when they happen… so why would someone who’s never watched a game in her life argue with me?
I wrote a blog before about arguing hockey fans. There is a tendency to place blame on a single player on the team. ‘The team would be awesome if ‘so and so’ wasn’t there.’ As a person who played sports growing up, this is a naive way to think. But I’m all for a heated discussion with someone who has opposite opinions with facts to back them up. My sister is not one of those people.
The matter was simple. It was stupid. One of the main famous players’ family came through her till at work apparently. She said ‘his wife and two sons’… I thought about it and said… ‘they must be ugly girls because he has two daughters’. I’m not a crazy enough fan that I stalk families, but this particular player often talks about them in interviews. She told me I was wrong, I told her I wasn’t. She went farther and decided to tell me why he’s playing badly… he hadn’t been. In fact, he’d been the most consistent player on the team. I tried to stop by saying ‘I think you’re talking about a different player’. No she wasn’t.
So I did the thing you’re not supposed to do. I pulled out my phone, Google the player, and proved her wrong. She said that ‘she’s allowed to know about hockey’. I followed that up with ‘absolutely, but you just proved you know nothing about hockey, so why are you arguing with me about hockey?’.
Why? Why argue? Why try and prove someone wrong when you know your facts possibly aren’t true to begin with? If you just want to argue, argue with me about fashion, I know nothing about that compared to my sister. But she knows I won’t take the bait. I’ll just say ‘I don’t know about fashion’ and that’ll be that.
So yes, I’m glad she’s back. Yes, I hope she leaves again. My sister and I have a much better relationship when we don’t see each other.