I’m going to say something very non-feminist. This doesn’t mean I want women to revert back to not having a single say in the world, but it’s the truth. I like being hit on. When I’m out with friends, and a guy buys me a drink, I blush and feel like a million bucks. I like when a guys is attracted to me and wants to take me home for the night.
Now I’m no slut. I’m not going home with someone just because he looks my way. But there is a certain amount of pleasure that is gotten from being hit on.
Why do we work so hard to ‘look hot’? Is it because we like to look in the mirror and feel beautiful? Yes. But there’s always an amount of having other people look at us and think we’re beautiful that no one wants to admit they like. Why? Because the world is trying to teach us that the only person that matters is ourselves. In reality, we’ve been raised social animals. We simply spend most of our time around other people. Those other people work with us, watch the game with us and go on adventures with us. We build relationships every day, and those relationships are based on so many different things.
I was trying to tell my roommate why I didn’t believe her when she told me ‘looks don’t matter’ to her. I know she wants to believe it, but it’s ignorant to truly believe that. Attraction matters when building a relationship. If we’re going to really form an attachment to someone, it’s probably because of a whole variety of different things. Attraction to form is one of those many things. It’s not the biggest or most important, but it’s still in the mix. The problems come when we only look at someone physically. You can’t build a relationship with someone you think is an dull lifeless idiot, but hey, they’re hot. That sort of relationship will never last. But if you’re honest with your chosen partner, their mind is not the only thing you like about them.
Balance is something we hear about for health. A balanced diet. I believe that balance is just as important in a relationship. A balance of liking someone for their personality and their physical appearance. To be attracted to them in every way. Attraction is so important.
So when a guy hits on me in a bar, or whistle at me on the street, there is that part of me that is instantly excited. It’s not the long lasting relationship part that needs a variety of different things, it’s the physical attraction part. I like to know I’m physically attractive. God knows I work hard enough. It’s a spurt of motivation to tell me that every run I do, every squat and every push through a sweaty workout is working. Not just for me when I look in the mirror, but for how I hope to appear to other people.
It’s not vain to care what other people think. Just remind yourself that their approval isn’t the be all and end all. When you look in the mirror and see yourself, I hope you smile and think ‘damn I’m hot!’. But don’t feel like you’re shallow if you like when someone hits on you. We all like it, we just think we should deny it. If you love yourself, and you feel confident, than attracting other people is going to come naturally.
So there it is, my secret that we’re not supposed to talk about. I like when guys look at me and think ‘I want to have sex with that girl’. It makes me feel hot. Judge me if you want, I’m still going to smile every time it happens.