I wanted to text… Then I remembered we don’t talk anymore

just-friends1Ending relationships suck.  I don’t think there’s one better situation than the other.  Sure I’d rather break up amicably than catch a guy cheating on me, but hey, that’s just me.  No matter what the situation, if it was a long term relatively good relationship, there’s always going to be that part of you that misses the friend.

The cliche term ‘I want to be friends’ has a bad wrap now a-days.  But why is it so very bad.  I was in a relationship for seven years.  In those seven years, even when relationship things weren’t amazing, we still talked.  We talked about our day, or what we wanted to do on the weekend.  We talked about the new movie we saw, or what are friends did that was so crazy.  I got used to telling someone everything that happened to me, and having them laugh at the crazy, and comfort me in the sad.  In my case, the relationship ended simply due to a lack of attraction.  To this day, months later, I do not regret my decision to leave the relationship.  But what I do miss, is the friendship.

I have other friends, but none as close as I was to him.  No matter what, no one knows you like the person you live with.  No one gets it.  I find myself experiencing something, and immediately want to tell him about it.  Only he’s not talking to me yet, so I can’t do that.

That’s what it means to ‘just be friends’.  It can be selfish if one person is really hurt, but it’s a desire to keep that connection of the person who knows you so well.  There was no love loss between us, it was only a different kind of love.  We still cared deeply about one another to the end, but we hadn’t been intimate for some time, and we’d just stopped going out of our way for one another.  But we still talked.  We still went out and hung out with friends.

Don’t immediately scoff at the idea of just being friends because you’re angry.  There are definitely situations where people should not, and could not remain friends.  But sometimes, if the relationship has just faded on both sides, friendship could be another option.  You could be giving up one of the most meaningful friendships of your life by just walking away.

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