My Belly

BellyJust like the title of this posts describes, I’m going to tell you about my belly.  It’s a subject that people don’t like to talk about, but here goes.  I have a belly.

My entire life I was a soccer player, and I never really had to work on belly fat.  I’m a thighs and boobs kind of heavy girl.  But in the last few years, after a knee injury that left me without movements for months, I’ve never returned to the be that had the cardio thing down.  I’m on a weight loss journey that is sometimes incredibly frustrating.  On days when I look in the mirror and think ‘is this really worth it?’, I think about my belly.  More accurately, my shrinking belly.

There was a time, a horrible time I don’t want to think about, when I stood in the shower and looked down at myself, and saw that my belly was approaching the same horizontal size as my boobs.  And I have big boobs.  Seriously, they get in the way.  I stood in the shower and felt like crap, because I could so easily lean slightly back and not see my toes.  If you’ve ever experienced this, you know how horrible that feeling is.  Being thin seems so very far away, and you may realize you’ve hit an all time high weight.

Today I felt like I didn’t want to go for a run.  I’m sitting at my desk, feeling kind of blah, a little tired, and I’m desperately looking through my thousands of collected motivational pictures thinking ‘I can take another day off’.  Yesterday was my day off, FYI.  But then I went to the bathroom, and I was standing washing my hands, and I looked down at my shoes which I adore.  Really cute ankle boots with buckles on the sides.  I realized very suddenly how easy it was to look down at my shoes.  I looked right down into my cleavage, and my big boobs stood alone.

It’s hard to see progress when you’re judging yourself every single day.  My belly hasn’t changed much since yesterday, but it has changed drastically since that day in the shower.  I’ve come a long way, and it’s because of the days I ate right and went for a run when I really didn’t feel like it.  No, I’m not where I want to be, but I’m closer.

I’ve never been a ‘track your progress’ kind of person, but the benefits of it have begun to really affect me.  A few weeks ago I took a picture of myself in the bathroom mirror.  A secret picture I’m not sure I’ll ever share.  When I look at it, it hardly looks like me.

Every day I look at myself in the mirror.  I do my makeup, I scoff at how my clothes fit, and I try to make myself look my best before leaving.  When you see the slow progress every single day, it doesn’t look major.

Have you ever tired riding up a hill on your bike?  One of those steep hills that goes on forever?  I learned a trick years ago about getting up those hills.  Do not look at the top of the hill.  Look at the front tire, or the ground just in front of you.  Look at your feet as they pedal, or the side of the road go by.  Every few minutes, look up.  It’s like magic!  Suddenly you’re way closer to the top.  But if you watch the horizon the whole time, it’s going to seem like the longest ride of your life.  I feel like the journey to a healthy body should work the same, in a way.  You should look at every inch you go, you should take a break, focus on working hard, and then check out your results every once in awhile.  It’ll be a bigger change, and motivate you to keep going forward.  When you look at where you started, and where you’ve come, then the distance seems shortened.

My distance is my belly.  In the end, at the top of the hill, I will have gotten rid of my belly fat.  When I looked up today and realized how far I’d already gone, I found a surge of pride and inspiration in myself.  I can do this.  Look at me, I’m already doing this!  One day, I will reach the top of my hill and I’ll look over the world, and feel just how much I’ve accomplished.

That reminds me.  I should really get my bike out of storage 🙂

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