Dear Mr. No Show

Dear Mr. No Show,

You don’t know me, but you’ve been casually dating my roommate now for a couple of weeks.  You were dating her, until last night, when you didn’t show.

Now there are three reasons I can think of that would cause you not to be there.  One, there was an emergency or something important that came up, and because you have no phone (?) you were not able to tell her in time.  The second is that you decided you didn’t like her, so just decided not to come.  The third is that you were there, or went to the wrong location, and also thought she hadn’t shown.

I really hope it’s the third, or possibly the first with some good excuse as to why you didn’t contact her.  If you had an emergency, I hope your family and friends are all okay, and that it was nothing too tragic.  Emergencies are stressful, and I hope you will accept my heartfelt wishes for the safety of everyone you care about.

If you were there and just missed her, or accidentally went to the wrong location, then I hope you will be able to connect with her again, and explain what happened.  Maybe you should get a cell phone.  It’s a little weird that you don’t have one.  I know your part of an older generation, but you are a lawyer.  Not sure I’d want a lawyer without a cell phone.  They’re pretty cheap, and easy to use.  If you’re not good with technology, there are some super easy uncomplicated ones you can get.

Now I’m going to address you as if you just didn’t show.  You’re a dick, and you belong in hell.  Is it really so hard to say to someone ‘I’m sorry, but I’m busy and/or not interested’?  Do you really think not showing is somehow kinder?  I don’t want to think the worst, but sitting with my roommate last night and hearing her upset because some guy stood her up makes me think you’re the worst sort of person.  It is cruel, and completely unnecessary.  You’re a coward for doing things that way.  Cancelling is much kinder, and is really not hard for you to do.  I hope that you spend the rest of your life unhappy for your cowardice, and uncaring of anyone else’s feelings, and I think you should really take a hard look at why you’re single at this time in your life.

Good luck with being a horrible person, and your cowardice has been noted.

Sincerely, the best friend of the woman you stood up.

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