First Date

DatingI have some bad news for all POF users.  Unfortunately there are some losers out there.  I know, that sounds harsh, and I’m sorry to say that, but I had the worst date ever a short while ago.

I chose a guy that I thought was nice, but didn’t have much in the way of chemistry with.  I thought it would be safe, so I wouldn’t be disappointed too much.  Wow, that was the wrong thing too do.

Arranging the date was a little annoying, but I gave him the benefit of the doubt.  Here’s a tip.  If the person you’re going to see say ‘you pick the restaurant:)’, then just pick the dam restaurant.  Do you know what happens when you reply with ‘anything you think is good is fine’?  It makes us roll our eyes and assume you’re one of those guys who will never, ever, make a decision.  Not cool.

But anyway, on to the date itself.  I got there, and he’d obviously doctored his photo’s he’d sent to me.  He looked almost nothing like the guy I thought I was meeting.  That doesn’t matter.  I’m not saying that he was better or worse looking, just different.  As we sat down, he was a little awkward, which again, is okay.  But if the football game is on, and you say your want to sit in the bar, just know that that’s going to reflect poorly on you if the girl you’re with has admittedly not got much interest in that particular sport.  Again it’s fine, but already we’re starting to pile up here.

And then the talking starts.  I learn quickly a few key points.  One, he’s unemployed.  Two, he doesn’t take any responsibility for anything that goes form for him.  RED FLAG!!!  Three, he doesn’t have a car because of a….DUI!!!  Good lord.  And then, on top of it all, he’s lied to me about smoking (facepalm.)  I’m not one of those people that need all my items checked off my checklist.  I can so easily overlook one or two things that come up it doesn’t even phase me.  And it wasn’t the list of negatives, but the fact that before the actual date, he’s blatantly lied about them.

I decided the polite thing to do was finish the date and hopefully he wouldn’t try to kiss me, because he smoked between dinner and the movie, and I just cant’…don’t, I just can’t.  It’s a personal preference, but I just can’t kiss a smoker.

So when the movie was over, I said a quick goodbye, and went to my car.  Here’s where I think I made  a mistake.  I probably should have offered him a ride home.  He only lived a few blocks away, but still, I should have offered.  I didn’t because I really just wanted the date to end, and I didn’t want a smoker in my car.  Seriously, that’s why I say ‘please no smokers’ on my profile.  I really don’t like the smell.  It makes me kind of sick.

Anyway that should have been the end of it.  But as I got to my car my phone beeped, and I looked at it, and he seriously called me on not offering him a ride home :O  Wow, that’s ballsy.  He’s not wrong, but to call me on it is a little shocking.  If the same had happened to me, I probably would have just never called the guy again.  But he decided that he wasn’t going to let me walk away easily.  But he said it in a very patronizing way, that immediately reminded me how this guy obviously doesn’t take responsibility for his part in anything.  Is it really my job to drive a 35 year old man home?  Shouldn’t he be able to take care of himself?  And if it were me, I wouldn’t expect a ride, only hope for one.  And I would have money for a cab just in case.  But I guess that’s the difference between us.

Here’s the story he told me, jsut to give you some idea of what I’m dealing with.  He works in concstruction (some kind of concrete poorer or something.  I’m a girl, I don’t really get construction all that much.)  He had this job that apparently paid him lots, which was allowing him to pay off his DUI (first I heard of that).  he had it all worked out that he’d take the bus to a specific location, and a buddy would pick him up and drive him the rest of the way to work.  And then one day out of nowhere, the buddy decided he wasn’t going to drive him anymore, and ‘totally screwed him over’.

Okay, I have a couple of things that immediatly pop to mind during that story.  One, a DUI?  How does a person casually throw that into conversation?  Drinking and driving is one of those things I’ve never been able to tolerate.  But take a breath, maybe it was a stupid mistake.  Everyone is allowed a stupid mistake.  So lets move on to the buddy giving him a ride.  Did you give him gas money?  Was it way out of his way?  Did it add time to his commute every day?  Why is he responsible for you?  I had a funny feeling that the actual story was this buddy had to go out of his way, and didn’t get anything in return, and got kind of tired of carrying his dead weight around.  And if he did in fact ‘screw you over’, that’s it?  You can’t find a different way to work?  How about manning up and taking a bus the entire way to work?

Lets return to the football game for a second.  I’m a hockey fan, so I understand sports.  But he said he doesn’t watch football, only this was the semi finals of the super bowl and Seattle was playing.  Awesome I guess.  Now you’ve admitted that you’re not really into football, and you picked the night of the date, and now you’re making it so I’m supposed to compete with what’s going on in the game for your attention?  I think this might have been a self preservation tactic, so that in case we have not much to talk about, there’s a buffer.  That’s cool, but it should not give you an excuse not to talk about anything.

Let’s just say I didn’t call this guy back.  I stayed until the end of the date, and tried to remain as friendly and polite as possible.  Him texting me to call on me not giving him a ride home was sort of the cherry on top, and I quickly blocked him as spam on my phone, in case he became one of those abusive guys who would continue texting me to blame me for the date.  Wow. Let’s hope that this is the last date that goes this badly 🙂

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