Anti-anxiety meds

Prescription Medication Spilling From an Open Medicine BottleI’m not sure how long ago I talked about this.  About a year ago, I had a few strong panic attacks that basically disable my ability to get through the day.  It was weird, and scary, and I had no idea what was going on.  After a trip to my doctor, and a few days of ativan, I was prescribed Citalipram, which is some kind of anti-anxiety or anti-depressant that is supposed to help you be calmer and happier.  I was a little loath to go on it.  I had never been on medication before, and I strongly disliked saying that I was.  But I decided that I was at a a time in my life when I seriously needed help, so I just decided to relax and get through it.

After my break up, I felt freer and happier than I had in so long.  It was liberating, being free of a relationship I now realize had trapped me.  Within a few days, I started considering going off the medication.

Not wanting to have serious effects, I went to my doctor and spoke with her about it.  She suggested I wait until after the holidays, and then slowly ween myself off.  She suggested going to half a pill a day for two weeks.  If I felt good, go half a pill every second day.  If I felt good after another two weeks, every three days.  By then my body will barely use it, and I can cut it off completely.

Well, I’m almost completely off of it now!!  I haven’t taken a pill for three days, and I feel great.  There was no strong withdrawal and no crazy nights of panic attacks.  I think I might be clear of it, and I’m seriously happy.  I like not being on medication.  I understand strongly that it was there for me during a time I needed it.  I was struggling, and it allowed me to get through it until I was able to figure things out on my own.  I’m not going to be ashamed that I had to go on it, I’m only going to work at making sure I don’t have to again.  It’s not something I was comfortable with, and while I now totally understand the kind of thing that would make a person turn to them, I have no intention of going back if I can possible help it.

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