Something has happened since I’ve been single. It’s been two weeks now, officially. Two weeks yesterday. In this two weeks, a few things have changed drastically to my, physically. I have more energy, I’m waaaaay happier, I’m excited about working out, I move more, and… I’m extremely aroused more often then I’m used too.
It made me think about the last year of my relationship. I was not sexually interested in my partner. The attraction had long past, and I had given up trying. I would do what I could to make myself as unattractive to him as possible, which in turn made me feel less attractive myself. That totally suppressed my sex drive, and I found that I really wasn’t all that interested in sex.
That’s changed now. It’s like that blanket covering my promiscuousness has left, and I’m back to being me, only now I feel like I’ve been starving myself. All of a sudden I understand why rebound sex is a thing. When a relationship ends and it was a long time coming, all of a sudden your free to do what you want, and sex becomes a big thing in the forefront of your mind once more. I mean, seriously. How often do you get turned on during your morning commute? Apparently I do. How about your gym time? Yup, I do. This must be what guys feel like all the time.
I’m not ready to jump into something right away. I want to make sure that I am physically and emotionally comfortable with myself. Maybe Fake Doctor Guy I met on Plenty of Fish will be a good choice when I’m ready 🙂 If half of what he says is true, then he’s a good choice. But I digress. The point is that I thought there was something wrong with me, that I didn’t want sex anymore. Turns out it was just that the relationship was long over. Attraction is an important thing. I learned that I couldn’t be with someone that I wasn’t attracted to, no matter how much money they had, or how they showered me with gifts. I couldn’t use something. I need to feel that absolute need to have him or her right away.