Countdown to 30

At 27 years old I’m starting again, and I’m surprised with some of the comments I’m getting about ‘staying in there’ and ‘it’s not too late’.  Yeah, I know it’s not too late, I’m only 27?

It got me thinking about age.  My ex-boyfriend (still weird to say that) was always all about getting older and having better ‘things’.  It used to drive me crazy because I’m happy with what I have.  We all want nicer cars or houses, or a big retirement savings, or money to travel.  But what’s with this need to get older until we’re older, and then all we want is to be young again?

I’m 27.  I’ve said that before.  27.  I feel 27, if it’s possible to feel an age.  Sometimes I feel older, and sometimes I feel younger.  Age doesn’t really have much play with me.  But the reactions I’m getting to my breakup make me feel like people are now worried that I’m ‘single’ and ‘aging’.  How bizarre is that?

Right now, I’m living with a good friend of mine who I met two years ago.  She just celebrated her 51st birthday a few weeks ago.  She’s the youngest 51 year old I’ve ever met.  I mean seriously, when you hear her age, you get that wide eyed shocked look.  Three years ago her husband of almost 30 years up and finally left.  He’d been having a few affairs for awhile, which she knew about.  At 50, she hit the same situation I now find myself in.  Living with her, going through this with her, has taught me some very cool things.

1.) It’s simply never too late.  She’s dating, I’m dating.  We’re both having fun, meeting new people and reminding ourselves what it’s like to be happy.  We’re both, in a way, free.  The fact that there’s almost 25 years different in our ages means absolutely nothing.

2.) Different generations have very different views on sex.  My friend, who I’m going to call Dee, has said a few things that have made me furrow up my brown in confusion.  Her reaction to some of the things I’ve said are more opened mouth surprise then confusion, but still.  Luckily, we’re two women very open with one another, and we’ve been able to have some very long serious talks about this.  Basically I’m more open sexually than she is.  That doesn’t mean that I’m a slut and she’s a prude.  It means that while I was raised to believe knowledge would make me stronger and wiser with sex, she was raised to be a ‘good girl’ and believe that sex with more than one partner made her ‘loose’.  I’ve been taking some time to educate her.  But that does not mean she’s wrong.  We are who we are, and sex has to come at our own pace.

(On a random note there are two people walking backwards while eating chips just outside my office right now.  Weird.)

3.) Sex in the city is not realistic.  I used to love this show.  I still do.  What I believe is that for a young woman, sex in the city managed to calmly walk me through every sexual situation I could ever find myself in.  It helped me understand that talking about it with my girlfriends is okay, and there is nothing that’s happened to you that someone else hasn’t experienced as well.  They went over everything.  But usually, a single person will not experience all those different kinds of sexual experiences.  Shoot for a lower number.

4.) Let’s get away from sex here for a moment and just talk about people in their 20’s.  I’ve been in my twenties for seven years (yes, I can do math!).  Having gone through a good portion of my twenties, I couldn’t tell you a single thing about what ‘should’ happen in your 20’s.  I think that as long as you get to your 30’s alive and in good health, you’re doing pretty well.

I will be adding to this, to document some of the things that happen in my twenties, and how they change when I hit the big 30 in a couple of years.  And I will compare them with Dee when I can.

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